No. I’m not pregnant! Just musing on the potential of a sibling for the stormbringer.
R is 30 months older than Maeve. M is 31 months older than H.
30-9= 21, if I got pregnant again in April 2014 Maeve would be the same age difference to her sibling.
In April 2014 I will be 38 (39 when baby #2 arrives around the new year…).
Hmmm…
It’s 2:45am and I’m still awake. The contractions have started to get closer together, and I’m debating contacting Lewis. For most of the day they were coming every 1- 2 hours. I had a nap from 6:45ish until just after 8pm. When I decided to go to bed at midnight I started keeping track of the contractions and they are now about every 35minutes. They don’t last very long and mostly I’m annoyed because I just want to sleep for a few hours. I took some Tylenol at 2am in an attempt to dull the crampy-ness and let me doze for a little while.
I have a doctors appointment this afternoon so I’d like to hold out until then before I contact Lewis, because they could stay at the every half hour stage for a while longer. But maybe I’ll call him first thing in the morning with a status update anyway…
Last night I started having Braxton Hicks contractions big time.
For the past month or so I’ve had occasional ‘period pain’ like cramping and occasional tightening of the upper belly which was uncomfortable, but not painful. Last night when my friends were over for our weekly Monday night activities I started getting stronger ‘period pain’-like cramping around 11pm. It made my lower abdomen, thighs and my lower back ache. It eased up when I walked a little bit or drank some water or peed but it caught me off guard. Lewis is in California until Saturday evening for work so I’m keeping a fairly close track of how often I’m having these stronger BH contractions. So far they seem to be every hour and half or so, so I’m not too worried about them being “real” contractions yet.
Yesterday I was also very… mucous-y, when I went to the bathroom. No huge glob of reddish brown discharge as I was expecting for the release of the mucous plug, but still I think I might be losing it in smaller amounts. Thank goodness I have a doctors visit tomorrow, I am expecting to be told that I am starting to dilate and whatnot, but hopefully not too fast (!).
This morning I made a quick trip to the store for some baby stuff (receiving blankets, nursing pads) and household stuff just in case we get caught short. Today I will try to get a bit more of my hospital bag packed and prepared!
It’s all becoming very real all of a sudden!
So, originally months ago I figured I’d sign up for this and then I changed my mind, figuring there’ll be a lactation consultant at the hospital anyway to help me if I need it. But in our last Prepared Childbirth Class one of the women had said it was really helpful and totally worth $20 and 2hrs of an afternoon, so I signed up and went to yesterday’s session.
I figured Lewis didn’t need to come along to this class (the others classes were far more useful for both him and me, but breast feeding seemed less useful for him), although once we got there there were 7 pregnant women and only 2 of us were without our partners. Oh well. I’m still not sure how much the guys got from it except for a bit of background info.
I was hoping I’d see some familiar faces from previous classes, but nope. Our teacher from the other classes, Kim, did show up and sit at the back though and we had a quick chat during the break.
I was the closest to my due date (again- I guess I’m leaving these classes until the last minute :P), the next closest due dates were at the end of August and one women wasn’t due until October! I was also the only women waiting for the Big Reveal of baby’s gender.
The class started by talking about how as a society we’ve moved away from breast feeding as The Norm compared to when our own parents were having us, but how there is a strong trend to reverse this and encourage breast feeding to become acceptable again. My own personal reasons for choosing to breast feed are primarily financial, but the other reasons we discussed make sense too, I’m just not a full on ‘breast is best nazi’. Breastfeeding Groups/ doctors/ lactation consultants all say that breastfeeding for at least a full year is optimal but I will try to breast feed for 6months and see how it goes. My sister -in-law and a few friends were unable to breastfeed and I don’t think shaming women who can’t or choose not to breast feed is very useful. Let’s support new mothers whatever their choice. I found myself wondering about the other women in class and what their reasons were.
There was a brief moment when we discussed the birthing process too and I saw a few glances exchanged when c-sections were mentioned. US society (and western society in general, I guess) has moved away from the majority of the natural part of pregnancy and childbirth. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with a lot of the medical interventions and whatnot, but I think we should be allowed to remember that it can all be done without the drugs etc and has been done for thousands of years. I really wish I had had as many ultrasounds as Christina and got to see Baby Miller’s progress, but at the same time it’s just my own curiosity and excitement about seeing the baby, and not medically needed so I can deal with it.
Anyway… back to breast feeding class: it was a somewhat whirlwind 2hr class and I didn’t take as many notes as in the other classes, but it was useful. It was reassuring as much as anything, as most of the classes have been- just confirming stuff I already feel and all that good stuff.
This past weekend was Angela’s “Un-Shower” for us 🙂
Sunday was a generally cooler day than the rest of the week (only 89F rather than 100F+), and we caught the train out to the ‘burbs. The train had no A/C and all the windows were closed so we were already sweaty by the time we arrived. Delightful.
The carnival theme was super cute and awesome and not at all ‘baby shower-y’. Bunting, string lights, balloons & lanterns. Games included: ring toss, balloon pop (and guess the gender), knock down the cans, duck pond, bouncy castle, balloon animals (!), and of course the usual piñata 🙂 Lewis and Ian even broke out the flaming juggling torches and devil sticks toward the end of the night!
Food was typical carnival fair: hot dogs and all the fixings, chips & dips, chex mix, sno cones, candy floss, cake pops… all tasty stuff 🙂
The official schedule was listed as 1pm-7pm but we got there closer to 12:30 and most people hung out until past 9:30pm! It was a long hot day. It was exhausting but lovely. I wanted to stay to help clear up but it was already late and Dugan needed to load up the car and get a bunch of us all home to the northside (not to mention the massive amount of gifts!).
So many people coming out to celebrate with us made it comparable to our wedding in my mind. I mean Angela throws a bunch of parties and not everyone can make it to all of them, but I felt so honored that so many people managed to make the trip out to the ‘burbs to spend the day playing games 🙂
The Prenatal Visit:
This evening I had another doctors appointment. I am 36.5weeks pregnant, weight is 178lbs (yikes!) and BP is 124/70. Truth be told I’m kind of depressed about my weight gain. I know I’m carrying a baby and I know I’m dealing with water retention and I know that the hospital scales might be calibrated slightly differently from my scales at home, but it still bums me out.
Today I had a Non Stress Test. They said it’s a routine test they do on women of Advanced Maternal Age, but that it’s just a one off and not a weekly thing. So they hooked me up to a couple of monitors and I lay down to ‘relax’ with the instructions to press the button every time I felt baby move. Except baby wasn’t moving too much so I wasn’t exactly ‘relaxed’. Today I have been having a lot of intestinal discomfort too so I had to focus really hard to guess whether what I felt was baby or bowel. After I don’t know how long, the doctor came in and made sure I knew when to come to Labor & Delivery and covered a few other things while I was still hooked up, she left for a few minutes before the nurse came back and unhooked me and had me undress from the waist down for the rest of my appointment. Apparently after looking at the graph they decided they weren’t happy with baby’s level of movement so I had to get hooked up again. This time I drank some more water beforehand and baby seemed to perk up. Of course baby perked up even more back to usual wriggly-ness when I was done with everything and back in reception sorting out the next few weeks worth of appointments. So frustrating! At least when I was done my belly was doing it’s usual wonky thing so that added to the proof for my doctor that baby was moving around.
I had my first internal exam and while I am ‘carrying low’ and baby’s head is down, his/her head is still high and my cervix is still closed. This makes me feel *so* much better about Lewis going off to California for a week on Sunday. Dr W said that I should be fine for about 2 more weeks before we start seeing any change down there.
She was sympathetic about my swollen ankles and saluted Lewis’s efforts with foot rubs etc 🙂
So now I’m having appointments every week until baby miller’s arrival and we actually scheduled an appointment for August 9th (after my due date) just in case he/she is still hanging out and they need to check anything.
interna
Confession: I actually had a mini breakdown when I went to bed after the not-at-all-relaxing ‘non stress test’, which even while I was sobbing with stress about already being a bad mum was telling myself that this probably wasn’t healthy for baby either. I just got so scared that I haven’t been looking after myself/baby well enough or something. I know I’ve felt baby move *a lot*, but having him/her be quiet and resting during a test of movement made me overly anxious. Now I am hyper aware of feeling for baby move. I will be doing lots of kick counts today to reassure myself.
Generally I like to think I had a pretty good pregnancy, but realistically I know I was having a hard time with nausea during the 1st trimester and this final trimester has been a drain in other ways. Hopefully if I get pregnant with a sibling for this little peanut I’ll be better prepared and can make some of it easier on my body.
For now though, at 35 weeks pregnant, I am definitely ready to not be pregnant anymore and somewhat ready to meet Baby Miller. I won’t miss the swelling (swollen feet that won’t fit into most of my shoes or socks, swollen ankles that only calm down when elevated for hours, swollen hands that tingle constantly and sometimes painfully).
I won’t miss my bump. I was very happy to get a bump, but now it just gets in the way! I can’t reach anything on the floor easily, or up in certain cupboards, I have trouble putting on socks and shoes, I have to reach to wash dishes (or stand sideways) etc. I miss being slim and being able to wear certain clothes in my wardrobe!
I miss being me, being active, I won’t miss getting out of breath and tired after only a few steps! I’m looking forward to getting out and about with baby and encouraging a sense of adventure and active lifestyle in them.
I guess I can’t truly say I’ll miss the nights of spotty sleep patterns as I know they’ll continue once baby arrives, but I hope at least that I’ll be able to sleep in any position I want to again without waking up with back pain or numbness. And being able to roll over in one solid movement rather than in multiple awkward clumsy stages- bliss!
Today I hit the 35 week mark and Lewis and I attended our Infant Care Class at the hospital. Five weeks to go until baby time (give or take a week or 2 I guess).
It was hosted by the same lady who did the Prepared Childbirth Classes which was nice, and 2 of the couples from that class were there today too (Steve & Liz and Alex & Thomas). It was kind of like the first day of school seeing familiar faces and meeting new people 🙂
This class was much bigger than the Childbirth class with about 15-20 couples compared to 5. A lot of the women seemed to have due dates in August, but some weren’t due until October or November. I thought I was leaving it pretty late with 5 weeks to go, but one couple are due in 3 weeks! There was a British couple there who are due on August 3rd, and Lewis and I liked them a lot. I would be very happy to see them in the corridor of the hospital if our actual due dates sync up 🙂 There were a few other couples with due dates around the same time as us so I could very well see bumping into a few familiar faces!
The class was basically a ‘what to expect in your first year‘ type of thing but most of the focus was on the initial few days, weeks and months.
We covered the initial few hours after delivery and tests and vaccinations, then jaundice (apparently there’s an increased risk of jaundice if the mum is Rh- or type O and I’m O-).
We covered circumcision, cord care, how to hold the baby, how to wash the baby, how to treat cradle cap, oral hygiene for baby and nail trimming.
Then we did infant CPR. Each couple got a practice CPR baby doll to take home. We watched a video by the AHA and practiced compressions, breathing and what to do if baby chokes. The class cost $60, the doll alone cost $40 so right there I feel like the class was worth our time! Plus now we have a baby doll to practice all kinds of things on before baby arrives.
Next up was infant nutrition, hunger cues, burping and stools. Although actually the stools portion of that was done right after our lunch break 😛 Just what we all wanted to learn about after eating 😉
We watched a video about Dr Karp and the 5 ‘S’s of calming a baby. Dr Karp wrote the book “the happiest baby on the block”. The 5 ‘S’s are Swaddling, Side/Stomach position, Shhing, Swinging & Sucking. We got to practice some swaddling, Shhing and swinging. I’ve read a bunch of women on line talking about how swaddling doesn’t work for their baby and I have to say I think they might not be doing it right, or that they just need to do some of the other Ss, because watching the video was eye opening as to how instantly these babies calmed down. Some just needed to be swaddled and immediately calmed down, some needed all 5 elements to reach that zone. It’s all about recreating the womb experience for the baby. Dr Karp calls the first 3 months the 4th trimester and we should kind of consider our baby to me more of a fetus still. Baby is used to being confined and snug in the womb, to be jiggling around whenever mum moves and to be hearing a loud constant white noise 24/7.
After swaddling we did diapers and diaper changing. We covered disposable diapers, cloth diapers and environmentally friendly diapers (chlorine free, compostable, chemical free etc).
Then we covered the Well Baby Visit routine, vaccines and when to call a doctor, hidden home dangers and safe sleep for baby.
Finally we talked about car seats. Everyone was supposed to bring their car seat to the class as well as the car manual. Lewis is spending a lot of this evening researching car seats and strollers for car-less families 🙂
Crazy amounts of information!
All in all the major lessons we got from today were the infant CPR, swaddling, and car seat info, but it was *all* incredibly useful info, and good to hear other couples asking questions, being reminded that we’re all new to this and some stuff that seems common sense is either correct or outdated. For a class that lasted from 9am until just before 4pm with a lunch break we covered so much. $60 and 6hrs very well spent! And I don’t think any of the dads-to-be felt like they were wasting their time being there (sometimes you hear that the dads are somewhat reluctant about attending these type of sessions and only going along for their wives).
I took today off from work due to the predicted extreme heat. The forecast had been for 97 with a real feel of 103 I think. It ended up being 100 with a real feel of 107. Not healthy for me and baby to be doing much of anything in. I made a quick trip to the grocery store round the corner as soon as they opened this morning at 7am and didn’t leave the apartment again until we headed to the doctors. Lewis was very smart and booked an I-Go car too so we didn’t have to walk or wait for a bus.
When we first arrived and made our payment I tried to talk to the receptionist about some of the financial information. I’d been going over our paperwork and got confused about some stuff and wanted to double check some stuff, but even after talking with her I’m not convinced I fully understand the financial stuff and will need to stop by the actual billing office during their business hours to sort it out. Blah.
Anyway, so I went and peed (woo hoo) and then the nurse weighed me (171lbs) and took my blood pressure. She had to take it twice because the first try came up as 130/90 which is a little high. She asked if I was normally on the high side and I said “no, normally I’m pretty much on the perfect side” so she took it again and it came up 120/74 which she was much happier with.
This week I got my Group B Strep test done so I had to strip down from the waist down and drape the silly privacy thing over me. I felt kind of bad for my doctor because usually I tidy myself up down there for my pap smears etc, but I can’t see anything down there without standing in front of a mirror and reaching around the bump is awkward.
I was meeting my 3rd new doctor today, Dr J, and she was very nice. She seemed young, not Doogie Howser young, but still, perhaps she’s just aging really well 🙂
I asked her about my weight gain and how much of it can be attributed to my swelling. She said a couple of pounds. But she also said that I wasn’t gaining so much weight that she was concerned about anything.
I asked about the heat and whether it would have any bearing on baby’s arrival. She said not really, it could make baby come early, but it might not. I should just make sure I focused on staying hydrated. I guess dehydration can encourage the braxton hicks contractions to become real contractions or something.
So then she listened to baby’s heartbeat (in the 130s again and moving around a lot), felt for position (still head down) and measured fundus height for baby size (still measuring a few weeks ahead, but not enough to concern her). She felt that baby was right on schedule which makes me feel better, but I do wonder if baby will decide to make an early appearance.
Tomorrow, they are predicting a high of 91 with a real feel of 98. I would like to at least do a half day at work. Next week is also looking at temps in the 90s so I will definitely make it my last week of work. It’s just not healthy for baby and I don’t want to risk an early arrival because of the heat and stress.
Last Thursday night was our final class in preparing us for childbirth. In many respects I feel much better prepared than a few weeks ago, but at the same time I am also way more nervous 🙂
Watching the videos in class I felt fine and confident. Watching some of the videos on my own at home has left me a nervous wreck, overwhelmed and under-prepared for the experience. Perhaps that is what I have in store for the foreseeable future of motherhood 😛
So during this final class we covered C-sections and when and why they might happen. No-one in our class has scheduled a planned c-section, but we watched a video of an unplanned, non-emergent, c-section. I guess it’s good to be prepared for any eventuality (and that’s why I’ve watched most of the videos) but it certainly gave us all pause for thought.
Next we played BABYO (baby bingo) to see what we had learnt from the course and got a massage tool as a prize- yay! We could choose between a massage tool or a packet of ‘boogie wipes’ but everyone chose the massage tool 😛
I think we finally warmed up as a class and were making quiet little jokes and whatnot with each other. Alex had said that she’d gone to the breast feeding class and highly recommended it (I signed up today for the next class in a couple of weeks).
After winning our handy massage tools we covered post partum and looked at all the super unsexy gear I get to wear (stretchy mesh underwear, GIGANTIC sanitary pads and ice packs) along with a bunch of other stuff for post partum care down there. The sanitary pads are seriously huge, like 8″x 16″ or something crazy, to handle all the blood and whatnot. It’s gross. I don’t think any guy would have any trouble dealing with the 2-6 weeks of holding off from sex when their wives/girlfriends are dealing with all of that. Blech. 🙂
We were also told how easy it is to still get pregnant immediately after giving birth. If you breast feed, you keep your prolactin level high which makes it impossible to ovulate. However, if you pump and use bottles on occasion your prolactin levels will drop and your body will prepare to ovulate. So while you might not get your period for 3 months after delivery, you can still ovulate and risk pregnancy unless you are breast feeding every 3hrs, 24hrs a day!
We discussed post partum survival tips (how to avoid the baby blues and post partum depression etc) and then took a tour of the family birthing center. Unlike Sarah and Christina who gave delivered and recovered in the same room, I will deliver in one room and then get moved to a separate recovery room for the remainder of my stay. Baby will stay with me for the whole time unless there are complications. The delivery room was kind of clinical and whatnot, but it had a whirlpool tub in the bathroom for helping keep me comfortable during labor and we can adjust the temp and lights if we need to. The bed is a converta-bed which is pretty cool and there is the standard crappy little pullout chair/bed thing for Lewis to attempt to nap on if he wants. There is a TV with basic channels (if i remember correctly) and a VCR for, y’know, if we want to watch any old video’s me might still own and there are mirrors in the ceiling if we want to watch ‘the action’ (no thank you!).
Once baby has arrived and been checked over etc we get wheeled down a private corridor to the recovery area. These rooms are decorated a bit more like home and have DVD players in them (whew :P). So I had been wondering how these tours of the facilities were scheduled, what if all the rooms are busy, do they keep one room vacant just for display purposes?! Turns out no, they don’t and we almost didn’t get to see a recovery room because they were all in use except one who’s occupant had just checked out five minutes before we arrived (so they hadn’t had a chance to clean & tidy the room yet).
Again, I feel much better prepared for having seen the rooms and getting an idea of what we’ll need to bring with us.
People have been starting to place their bets on the arrival of baby miller this weekend and while I’ve technically got a potential 6 weeks to go, I’ll be happy if he/she decides to come a little earlier…
In 2 days I’ll be 34 weeks pregnant.
It’s getting uncomfortable (to say the least).
I’m tired of being pregnant. I know that I only have at most 6 weeks to go, but I’m ready to be not pregnant again now. At the same time I look at all my birth plan and hospital stay paperwork and feel completely unprepared. The pain and discomfort that I am enduring at night makes me doubt that I’ll be able to deal with labor. I hate that I get to a point in the night where I wonder if I’ll want to go through this a 2nd time because I would like Baby to have a sibling at some point.
Monday and Tuesday were 92F and working in the shop was hard.
Wednesday was 95F and the only good thing about waking up with the now familiar tingle and pain of carpal tunnel making me useless was that I could stay home in my air conditioned apartment.
Last night I went to bed at 11pm, and was still awake when Lewis got home at almost 1am. At around 3am after trying a billion different positions trying to get comfy I managed to pass out briefly but woke at 4:15am in agony. I took some Tylenol and waited almost an hour for it to kick in and was crying when it wore off less than an hour later. Every fiber of me just wanted to sleep, but my right hand was only barely comfortable when I swung my arm and shook my hand vigorously. I called off from work for the 2nd day in a row and am seriously considering emailing them to call off for the rest of my pregnancy. I know I only have one week left to struggle through, but it’s not fair on them for me to be constantly calling out from lack of sleep and a ‘crippled’ hand.
I passed out just after 7am this morning and managed 2.5-3hrs sleep, which somewhat made up for the rest of the night, but my hand is still basically useless.
Today I am trying to go through some of my paperwork and make some decisions, maybe even start packing my hospital bag. I need to think seriously about what pain relief I want to take, and what to do if there are complications. I’ve been naively optimistic about what I’m capable of and the closer the due date gets the more scared I get.
I should probably bring some of this up at tonight’s class and next week’s appointment.
On the more cheerful side of pregnancy: On Monday I set up the bassinet in the bedroom and am that little bit closer to visualizing our baby sleeping across the room from us. On Tuesday, Lewis and I went to Target for some general household groceries etc and we ended up in the baby gear section (Lewis lead the way!). It made me so stupidly happy that he was the one who casually wandered in that direction and was seriously looking at cribs and car seats and whatnot ❤
Chasing The Stormbringer 